Paula Abdul Not Returning to Idol

THE CRAZY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING I REPEAT THE CRAZY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

After weeks of speculation, Paula Abdul finally announced her departure from American Idol. Her Coke mug has run dry. Paula, surprisingly lucid, posted on her Twitter:

With sadness in my heart, I’ve decided not to return to #IDOL. I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all… I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all being a part of a show that I helped from day1become an international phenomenon. What I want to say most, is how much I appreciate the undying support and enormous love that you have showered upon me. It truly has been breathtaking, especially over the past month.

I guess leaving Idol isn’t all bad for Paula. Now she can really get a good head start on hoarding buttons and playing dress up with her sixteen cats and hiding in the bushes so she can catch the neighborhood kids ringing her doorbell. Or whatever else it is crazy ladies do when they’re not in production on a hit TV show.