Katie Holmes will play Jackie Kennedy opposite Greg Kinnear as John. F Kennedy and Barry Pepper as Robert Kennedy in The History Channel’s 8-hour-long miniseries called the……(get ready to fall out of your head) THE KENNEDYS!

Tom Wilkinson has also signed on to play Joe Kennedy Sr.

The History had this to say for themselves (via Variety):

“When History announced this ambitious project in December, our goal was A-list auspices behind and in front of the camera. We could not be more pleased that these incredibly talented actors have agreed to sign on to the miniseries.”

A-list auspices?! More like A-list asspieces. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on Stepford Katie. Maybe Tommy Girl will upload Jackie’s White House tour to Katie’s hard drive and she will actually pull this off. But even thinking about Katie imitating Jackie’s voice is making me want to cover my head with a sweater like Little Edie.