I know that you, like me, have spent many sleepless nights tossing and turning, wondering if you’ll ever get to see Chris Brown’s wiener before you die. Well, the wait is over, my friends: Chris Brown’s wiener in all its pube-shorn NSFW entirety. I don’t like to call myself a hero or anything. I’m more of a modern day Robin Hood, robbing the rich to give to the wiener-less. Why else would I be carrying this 12th century bow and arrow in my laptop case?