It was only a matter of time before one of the skanks on Jersey Shore botched a do-it-yourself abortion, and today’s lucky winner is perpetual castoff Angelina Pivarnick. TMZ says:

Angelina confirmed the pregnancy… but wouldn’t comment further.

Sources close to the reality star tell us the baby daddy is Angelina’s fiance Dave Kovacs. The couple has been engaged since February.

No word on when the baby is due.

Well, I have a hunch when the baby is due. Nostradamus said the Antichrist would be born from one of the three water signs — Pisces, Cancer, and Scorpio — so little Beezlebub Pivarnick is probably due in late October. I figure wombs don’t get much uncleaner than that one.