CBS should send Charlie Sheen a bouquet of roses with $100 million check because his mental breakdown, subsequent firing and replacing by Ashton Kutcher gave the Two and a Half Men premiere 27.8 million viewers. The highest-rated episode in the show’s history and the highest-rated scripted show in years, even beating the 2011 Super Bowl episode of Glee.

The premiere gave NBC’s Mad Men-esque The Playboy Club no chance as it scored only 5 million viewers with 1.6 million in the key demographic. Which was weird because who wouldn’t want to watch Eddie Cibrian pretend to be a second-rate Don Draper? People love derivative tv shows!