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In “Totally Non-Story Story” news, Jessica Simpson is broken up with Tony Romo and Nick Lachey is broken up with Vanessa Minnillo. That means they can totally get back together now, right? Right?!

To much disappointment, Nick has stated that he hit that and he is not a glutton for punishment.

“I think it’s fun storytelling, but there’s very little truth to any of it. I certainly have heard about her breakup and I wish her the best, as I’ve always done. Aside from that, there really is nothing to say.”

Lachey also mentions that there is zero contact between him and Jessica. So there is no chance of a reconciliation.

“I haven’t talked to her in probably two years,” Lachey says. “I wish her happiness. That’s where it pretty much ends.”

What a dumb idiot. The only thing that ever made Nick Lachey even remotely interesting was Jessica Simpson. The least he could do is throw in a “I’m here if she ever needs to talk.” I guess he really just doesn’t like being a celebrity, then. Well I hope he enjoys hosting parties in Atlantic City, because pretty soon he’ll be hosting tractor pull competitions at county fairs.

Apparently OK! magazine paid $400,000 for sex pictures including video of Vanessa Minnillo and her boyfriend Nick Lachey getting it on. But don’t expect the magazine to publish the filth any time soon.

“There’s much worse stuff than what got out there on the Internet,” says a snitch. “If Nick’s fans saw it all, it would definitely change his career, because he kind of has a squeaky-clean image.”

In accordance with there celebrity-friendly policy and recent Lachey-Minnillo cover story, OK! Shelled out the money to take the material off the market, says a source.

If Nick’s nervous about revealing his dong size then I can see why he’s frustrated.

Here are some pictures of Nick Lachey, Jessica Simpson’s ex-husband who left her and ruined her by driving her into weight increase and alcohol abuse… either way he’s with his new girl Vanessa Minnillo is in a bikini and riding him all sexy like and shit and dude looks all uncomfortable, probably because he desires she was his brother so that they could “wrestle”.

I am convinced Nick still jerks off philosophy about slamming Jessica, you know when he’s bored to death of that Vanessa box, he digs into his metal archive of every position he got his ex wife into, but he’s almost certainly just doing the total girl thing to get girl fans who dream about being his next love interest and the reality of the circumstances is that he actually thinks boys is where it’s at… that’s why he shaves his chest as a note to all the fags out there that he’ll be waiting behind the local gay bar for you… that’s why she’s so excited and he looks annoyed by the whole girl in bikini thing… cuz chicks dig fags.

I know you all think I am a racist, so notice that I didn’t say she looks indigenous.